Since grandma’s death, I feel afraid to close my eyes in the dark. I do not sleep at night at all; I barely sleep two hours at day. . . I was there. I was right beside her when she took out her last breath. She told me that she wants to sleep, but suddenly her mouth was so closed and she could not breathe, I tried to open it but I could not. She was staring at the ceiling of the room; her eyes were so opened as if she was afraid of something. I called for Dad but he was not there as usual; he misses our joy he also misses our sadness.
Mom was crying. We all were crying helplessly. I started repeating “La elah ela Allah” and crying, I knew then this was the moment! All what I was thinking of then if she has to go now, she has to go with angels, because her place is Paradise; the suitable place for people like her.
I have never thought I would have this strength, to face death and keep coherent, to stay beside grandma while dying, and then I realized that love is power. When you feel afraid to lose people you care for you gain a kind of a super power that makes you feel you are stronger than you have ever thought, this power comes from LOVE. Love gives us a magical power; when we stay beside people we love we feel like we rule the world. It is just like a weapon and a cure for everything. Yet, once the people we care for fade away we just become the weakest on earth, especially if death was the reason behind this pain.
They say death is the hardest on the living. It is tough to actually say goodbye. Sometimes it is impossible. You never really stop feeling the loss. It is what makes things so bittersweet. We leave little bites of ourselves behind, little reminders, a lifetime of memories, photos, trinkets, things to remember us by. . . even when we are gone.
The concept of death itself, that you will not see the people you love anymore makes you rejects reality and refuses the nature of life, the fact about Death and Life! You may even deny the basic facts about the universe!
Mom was crying. We all were crying helplessly. I started repeating “La elah ela Allah” and crying, I knew then this was the moment! All what I was thinking of then if she has to go now, she has to go with angels, because her place is Paradise; the suitable place for people like her.
I have never thought I would have this strength, to face death and keep coherent, to stay beside grandma while dying, and then I realized that love is power. When you feel afraid to lose people you care for you gain a kind of a super power that makes you feel you are stronger than you have ever thought, this power comes from LOVE. Love gives us a magical power; when we stay beside people we love we feel like we rule the world. It is just like a weapon and a cure for everything. Yet, once the people we care for fade away we just become the weakest on earth, especially if death was the reason behind this pain.
They say death is the hardest on the living. It is tough to actually say goodbye. Sometimes it is impossible. You never really stop feeling the loss. It is what makes things so bittersweet. We leave little bites of ourselves behind, little reminders, a lifetime of memories, photos, trinkets, things to remember us by. . . even when we are gone.
The concept of death itself, that you will not see the people you love anymore makes you rejects reality and refuses the nature of life, the fact about Death and Life! You may even deny the basic facts about the universe!
